Clients From Hell

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Calling

Calling to find out how I work and how much I charge? You call anytime you like, that is convenient to you. You don’t have the courtesy to ask, “Is this a good time to talk?”
I speak with you, explaining all the nuances of a typical assignment and educate you and equip you to deal with any other professionals you might be speaking with. I spend 30 minutes on the phone with you and when you hire someone else, you don’t even have the professionalism to give me a fucking call and tell me you’re not hiring me?

The excuse of, “Oh but it doesn’t feel nice to tell someone I’m not hiring them.” is lame and silly. You’re not five years old. Learn how to deal with rejection because that is the only reason you can’t deal with informing someone else about their rejection. Morons.

And no, it is NOT cool to reject someone’s services over a phone text. Have the balls to call them up. Because if you don’t call, I will and then you’ll feel even worse.

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MIA

I’ve been MIA fro this blog for a while – not because the Client ‘Gods’ are smiling down on me but simply because I’ve been handling way too much shit from them! The latest is this client going MIA for over two whole months – I’ve given him a call more than once and while he’s courteous on the call and says “I will reply to the email” [ which is the first design option that was sent to him and awaits feedback ], he never really gets back. Neither does he give a reason. He could simply tell me to fuck off but he doesn’t do that either.

Then there’s a client who’s very conveniently out of the country as soon as it’s time to pay up the balance. Bitch. Can’t be reached on the phone and pointedly refused to reply to emails. Called up her boss and he feigns ignorance regarding the whole deal. they were planning a country-wide launch and I could blog about their unprofessionalism but don’t want to shove a cudgel in their spokes without an outright yes or no from them.

Did have an exceptional client recently – photography – I did the work as a rush job, gave them an idea of what it would cost – it was a little over what I normally charge – to incorporate the rush job charges – and they didn’t say anything to the quote. I have finished the project and await payment in full. My gut seems to have no doubts about receiving the entire payment without a hitch – more so because it is an internationally well-recognized organization and a small screw up resulting in my blogging about them will screw their reputation.

Who needs lawyers when you have blogging.

Filed under: from HEAVEN, from HELL, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I need a discount because of our connection.

Simply because you’re my senior from school [ ten years senior and I never knew you in school ] or a senior from the same educational institute – not even the same college under that institute – or wait [!] you’re from the same city I lived in for a decade – father being posted across every three years means I have connections in dozens of cities – what about the towns and states then? Or even countries? Oh wait, maybe I should just do everything for free for the larger good of humanity! Ah ha!

Yeah, fuck that. I have a connection / link with all human beings – it’s called genetics.

Asshole.

As far as a majority of clients are concerned, if they could have their way, they’d NEVER pay for design. Routinely they’re getting their wives and college kid and school kid and kid-living-down-the-street to do their designs for them and then whingeing about the bad quality when they seek feedback from their janitor. Idiots.

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Long time no blogging

I’ve been around. Been working mostly. But off late, because of the economic downturn I guess, work’s almost zilch. Which is just as well. Been chilling mostly. And bitching about clients too.

There was one client who refused to communicate for more than two months in spite of my repeated emails, phone calls, text messages. I had finished the project from my end and we were waiting for the CEO to get back to me with a final list of milestones we had to put in the project. The CEO never got back, launch date came and went. Once the launch date went, the project was redundant. So I thought they didn’t want to get in touch because they didn’t want to pay the balance. After two months the idiot calls up on his own and pays the entire amount in full. It turns out the flunky who was handling the project was in the process of quitting the client company, because of him, I hated the client and I’m sure the client hated me because we didn’t know what the fuck was going on all because of lowly Mr. Flunky. Asshole.

Then another client who got back to me after two weeks of finalizing a logo. She calls up and says, “We’ve changed our minds, please finalize another option from your sketches.” I told her it would cost extra – she’ already paid in full – which client would make the full payment if they have not closed the engagement? What a bitch. She completely refused to pay for the ‘extra’ working asking me why I would take [get this] “5 hours” to complete the extra work. I had prepared final files for the logo she had finalized earlier and creating final files for another option would take at least 5 hours baby! She just wouldn’t relent and came up with ‘trust’ crap that she paid the balance in mutual respect and trust and other bullshit. I finally decided to do it. [ There was a website project in the offing and I thought it would be a nice blow to her when I refused to do it. ] And five days back the bitch write another email asking me to send final files for BOTH chosen logos. I was like WTF!! I told her I could send only one. She choose one and now I’m going to make her wait for another week before I send the final files. Only out of spite. And of course I will not do the website.

And there were some more – lots more clients since Feb 08, which was when I blogged here last. I haven’t been blogging much on any of my blogs – except the anonymous blog about my love life/personal life in general. There too I use Twitter to update my status more than actually writing long boring blog posts.

Filed under: from HELL, ,

I want something simple

Is not equal to free!
What the fuck is wrong with people – do you get onions for free? Then how can you even think that design services will be for free? I mean… HOW!?

Sure you’re a Life Coach – like you’re saving humanity – and you have a website your Sister-in-Law’s son designed for you [ aaaaaaargh! ] and you take inhuman pride in claiming that he did it for free for you and now you want me to design you a logo for free?

I am a one-person shop and ‘budget’ is a word I haven’t heard of.

Well, good-mornin to ya chump, I’m a one-person shop too and like you, [ I hope ], I have bills to be paid – and forget bills – I aint doin no charity. So quit kidding and get to the point. I sometimes wonder how nice it would be to organize a competition among potential clients. The question asked will be “Tell me why I should do your design for free? The most convincing answer will get a 50% discount on my regular professional fee! Yippee!”

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Clients From Hell : Yeah

Bitching about clients. The bad ones. And boy are there many. The good ones are meant for the real, company-linked design blog. The bad ones go down in history here - I wish I could tell them to their face where they're screwing up but then I'll just be a poor designer instead of the decently rich one I am now. Compromises.

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