Clients From Hell

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…very liberal thoughts…

“We both have very liberal thoughts….”
But you obviously don’t have any professionalism / courtesy to reply to a fucking email or return a call or reply to my text message.

Disclaimer : I’m so glad I have this space to rant and bitch. In my work life, I prefer to deal with painful transactions and convert them to paying clients.

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Filed under: from HELL

The light is artificial

Ranting about idiots who don’t know what they’re talking but they do have a mouth so they have to use it say something no matter what it is.

DIE FUCKERS DIE!

“Oh, it’s a nice shot but you know, the light from the back is looking artificial.”

What the fuck were you expecting dipshit – it’s a client commissioned fashion shoot – there are tons of artificial lights.

Oh wait, you’re not from the client’s side, you’re not a friend of mine, you aren’t even a photographer and you certainly know nothing about lighting. Fucking asshole.

Go hide in your hole some place.

And I can’t even call him out publicly. Have to be all polite and “Oh thanks for the compliment but what do you mean about the light?” AND I have to add a fucking smiley to boot.

Filed under: from HELL

Fine art of negotiation

“But I can’t accept your pricing as-is. You have to reduce a little at least. Just for the sake of negotiation.”

It’s client’s like these that make me want to commit homicide at least once a week.
I can’t inflate my pricing just for idiots like these because that would be unfair to my other clients and if I don’t inflate, I am forced to reduce a little just for the sake of this idiocy.

Most of these requests are made by people who are not in charge of the payments – and are not the final decision makers. The manager who has been asked by the COO to find a designer or a bride whose Dad is footing the bill for her wedding.

Filed under: from HELL,

That’s too expensive, no one charges so much

Huh. Really? You know my industry better than I do?

And why would you open your call to me introducing yourself like this : “I wanted to know more about your services, I am also a journalist with so-and-so-newspaper.”

“But this is not a special wedding or anything. Not an industrialist’s wedding you know. Just a normal wedding. No one charges this much.”

Pause.

“I saw your website a few days ago, I’m not sure what I saw. You are one of those special photographers right?” [ Referring to candid wedding photography. ]

If you’re fishing for pricing, make it clear. I don’t have a problem sharing my pricing. But please understand that I am not delusional when I’m sharing my pricing. I DO charge that much. Negotiating without knowing what you’re negotiating for is the first signal that I don’t want to work with you.

Filed under: from HELL

Limo

“You must see our engagement photographs! Here’s a link to our website.”

First image : Limo hired to drive couple to party with friends after lady accepted proposal.
Second image : image fat diamond solitaire ring on lady’s finger.

Me thinking : Er, you hired a Limo and don’t have the money to pay for a professional wedding photographer to capture your wedding? And you’re sending me a link to your engagement photos that the other wedding photographer shot and 90% of those images are not even in focus?

If it isn’t important enough for your to have it captured, why bother and waste my time?

Idiot.

Congratulations on your wedding though!

Filed under: from HELL

Calling

Calling to find out how I work and how much I charge? You call anytime you like, that is convenient to you. You don’t have the courtesy to ask, “Is this a good time to talk?”
I speak with you, explaining all the nuances of a typical assignment and educate you and equip you to deal with any other professionals you might be speaking with. I spend 30 minutes on the phone with you and when you hire someone else, you don’t even have the professionalism to give me a fucking call and tell me you’re not hiring me?

The excuse of, “Oh but it doesn’t feel nice to tell someone I’m not hiring them.” is lame and silly. You’re not five years old. Learn how to deal with rejection because that is the only reason you can’t deal with informing someone else about their rejection. Morons.

And no, it is NOT cool to reject someone’s services over a phone text. Have the balls to call them up. Because if you don’t call, I will and then you’ll feel even worse.

Filed under: from HELL, , , , , ,

Clients From Hell : Yeah

Bitching about clients. The bad ones. And boy are there many. The good ones are meant for the real, company-linked design blog. The bad ones go down in history here - I wish I could tell them to their face where they're screwing up but then I'll just be a poor designer instead of the decently rich one I am now. Compromises.

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