Clients From Hell

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Family members can be the worst clients

I shot at a wedding recently. There are about 200 ‘selected’ photographs, which need to be edited. And not just color balancing, every woman wants their pimples removed, the men want their beer-bellies shrunk and of course everyone should look fairer. It’s been three days since the wedding and apart from these photographs, I need to do so much other ‘regular’ work. And every day someone or the other calls up to ask why the fuck haven’t I delivered the photographs yet. Thankfully I don’t have to get them printed – not yet anyway.

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Asking me to outsource

A web designer wrote to me asking if I wanted to outsource some work to them. Really now. But ok, maybe I can consider it. So where’s your portfolio? Erm, no portfolio. Really? Then what the fuck are you writing to me for? I mean its not necessary to have a portfolio of commercial work – there MUST be something you did for a friend or for your own website / blog no? So he says that all he’s worked on are company projects – the current company that employs him. So I said, fair enough – show me some of that stuff. The reply, “I’m in HR, I don’t think it is ethical to share company projects with you.”

Loser.

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Long time no blogging

I’ve been around. Been working mostly. But off late, because of the economic downturn I guess, work’s almost zilch. Which is just as well. Been chilling mostly. And bitching about clients too.

There was one client who refused to communicate for more than two months in spite of my repeated emails, phone calls, text messages. I had finished the project from my end and we were waiting for the CEO to get back to me with a final list of milestones we had to put in the project. The CEO never got back, launch date came and went. Once the launch date went, the project was redundant. So I thought they didn’t want to get in touch because they didn’t want to pay the balance. After two months the idiot calls up on his own and pays the entire amount in full. It turns out the flunky who was handling the project was in the process of quitting the client company, because of him, I hated the client and I’m sure the client hated me because we didn’t know what the fuck was going on all because of lowly Mr. Flunky. Asshole.

Then another client who got back to me after two weeks of finalizing a logo. She calls up and says, “We’ve changed our minds, please finalize another option from your sketches.” I told her it would cost extra – she’ already paid in full – which client would make the full payment if they have not closed the engagement? What a bitch. She completely refused to pay for the ‘extra’ working asking me why I would take [get this] “5 hours” to complete the extra work. I had prepared final files for the logo she had finalized earlier and creating final files for another option would take at least 5 hours baby! She just wouldn’t relent and came up with ‘trust’ crap that she paid the balance in mutual respect and trust and other bullshit. I finally decided to do it. [ There was a website project in the offing and I thought it would be a nice blow to her when I refused to do it. ] And five days back the bitch write another email asking me to send final files for BOTH chosen logos. I was like WTF!! I told her I could send only one. She choose one and now I’m going to make her wait for another week before I send the final files. Only out of spite. And of course I will not do the website.

And there were some more – lots more clients since Feb 08, which was when I blogged here last. I haven’t been blogging much on any of my blogs – except the anonymous blog about my love life/personal life in general. There too I use Twitter to update my status more than actually writing long boring blog posts.

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Clients From Hell : Yeah

Bitching about clients. The bad ones. And boy are there many. The good ones are meant for the real, company-linked design blog. The bad ones go down in history here - I wish I could tell them to their face where they're screwing up but then I'll just be a poor designer instead of the decently rich one I am now. Compromises.

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