Clients From Hell


Spoon feeding

There’s a new client on the block. Owns two companies – old-school, traditional businesses, no visual identity [ or a very bad one wherever it exists ]. Wants the corporate identity designed, the websites, the printed collateral etc.

Calls me up twenty times in a day – would call me in the dead of the night if I allowed it.

Asks me how to attach images to an e-mail in Outlook.
Asks me which image format is the smallest – .gif or .jpg or .tiff or .png etc.
Asks me whether he needs a Yahoo Account to upload images to the Yahoo Photo Albums.
Asks me whether a particular bank in HIS city, close to HIS office will be open today or not.
Tells me he doesn’t have an EPS of his logo – “What’s that?”
Tells me that ALL his visual identity has been done by the local printer who prints his business cards from .jpg files.

I sent him the creative brief to be filled in by him – he called up to tell me that he doesn’t understand anything in the brief [ the brief mostly asks questions about the company and about it’ market and customers and their vision for the future etc. ]. I walk him through all the questions, explaining each one. He still replies with a brief where only two questions have been answered – with the words “none”.

I sent him some samples of images – so that I could get what was in his head. Asked him to choose the top three best and re-attach and reply. He replied, sure! Re-attached all the images. And called again – said he couldn’t write such long e-mails, conversations are better – I told him I don’t need detailed explanations – just re-attach the three best images and reply.

The longest conversation I had with him lasted a little over 120 minutes.

This is just the beginning.
I mean, sure, if the client needs clarification about the design process, I will leave no stone unturned to get down to it. But how to attach images to an e-mail in Outlook?! You’ve got to be kidding me!

Lord have sweet mercy.
I agreed to work only if we started with a very small project – thank heavens for that.

Filed under: from HELL

Clients From Hell : Yeah

Bitching about clients. The bad ones. And boy are there many. The good ones are meant for the real, company-linked design blog. The bad ones go down in history here - I wish I could tell them to their face where they're screwing up but then I'll just be a poor designer instead of the decently rich one I am now. Compromises.