Clients From Hell

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They have the money…

…but they don’t know what a logo is.

This particular client has money to pay, they did not negotiate on my initial quote – they said they liked my work and wanted only me to do it. So here I am doing their logo.

Problem #1 : “Mr. Design Designer, we don’t know what crap this creative brief is, we are not going to fill it. We are paying you so you fill the damn brief – what else are we paying you for?” [ Huh! ]

Problem #2 : “Mr. Design Designer, we’ve seen the first draft that you sent, but we don’t want our logo to look like that – this is ugly – all pencil marks and it’s just black and white and where’s the name of our company?”

Problem #3 : “Mr. Design Designer, we saw the example of finished logo from your sketches, but we don’t like these logos. It doesn’t reflect our brand or our values.” [ Dude, if you’d told me what your stupid brand was and what your values were in the first place, maybe I would have come up with something that reflected those key-points. ]

Problem #4 : “Mr. Design Designer, actually we are four partners, I like number 1 from your third draft, partner B likes number 5 from your second draft, partner C likes number 2 from the third draft and partner C likes the one on the bottom right from your first set of sketches. We need approval from all four before this is finalized.” [ And when were you going to tell me that there are four suckers who need to be bought in? After I’d “finished” the logo? ]

Problem #5 : “Mr. Design Designer, we’ll give you plane tickets to come and visit our non-existing office so we can all sit face-to-face and discuss this to finalize it.” [ Uh! You can afford to fly me half-way across the globe, but you don’t have no brains buddy. Must have eroded trying to get a buy-in from the other three for all your projects. ]

Problem #6 : There’s a fifth chap who for some reason is acting as intermediary.

Maybe I should be spending more time designing the damn logo than wasting time here posting what fuckers I have to work with. They still have to give me the balance payment and I still have to fly half-way across the globe afterall 😉

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