Clients From Hell

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Is it so difficult to understand?

Effort, addition deliverable, extra work – costs extra money. I mean, even a monkey would get that. But no! This client definitely does not get it. Totally does not get it. After my two e-mail to the client explaining that the original agreement did not mention the extra deliverable, the client still has the cheek to write to me telling me that “businesses always do a little extra for their customers“.

Well yeah they do, and I do it too – but not a whole new design deliverable! And definitely not when the payment for the originally decided deliverables itself is 1/5th the regular price.

It’s like telling a farmer:

“Hey! You already grow potatoes in field one and onions in field two. You will be excavating both from the ground anyways [ so its not like you have to develop a whole new concept – it’s the same process! ] and I’m your first time customer buying one kilogram of onions. Why don’t you give me one kilogram of potatoes to grow with the onions? A business always does a little extra for its customers!”

Go to hell man! Duh!

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Filed under: from HELL

Totally unacceptable

Hey,
That pimple on your face is totally unacceptable.
Warm Regards,
Mr. Client.

Now that’s a great piece of feedback. No further work points, no decision made, nothing related to the project – just a piece of random opinion. Who gives a shit what you think of my face or my pimple Mr. oh-so-17thCentury-trying-to-be-21stCentury-Client? Someone please go and tell him that he can’t even speak English properly – and he’s apparently studied at London! Someone also please tell him not to try too hard to impress me – I know he sucks as a client, he doesn’t pay me well and criticizes my work all the time. Why the hell am I working with him anyway?

Out of boredom I suppose. Been going through the “slump”.

Filed under: from HELL

feedback alarm

Design Designer : “Hello Mr. Client, here is the mock-up I’ve prepared according to your brief, would you kindly give me some specific feedback about what you like / don’t like and the reasons behind your opinions?”

Mr. Client : “Well, this is OK. But I want something KICK ASS. Go back to the drawing board and give me something FANTASTIC.”

Design Designer : “Mr. Client, you need to be more specific, you told me to copy the this website but because my stupid conscience does not allow me to copy it, I’ve created some variations to the original design and kept the same color scheme because you wanted that. But you need to tell me why is it OK and what do you mean by KICK ASS.”

Mr. Client : “I’ve worked with designers earlier and I don’t like spoon-feeding them. I just give them a brief and then they come up with options for me to choose from – if I don’t like any of the options, they just go back to the drawing board and iterate till I see something I like. It’s as simple as that.”

Wow dude! You seem to have one hell of a sweatshop going there! “… till I see something I like…”. Are you fucking insane? Those other designers might be employees of companies who use you as a creative consultant – I am most definitely not on your payroll and you can take a hike if you’re expecting assembly line work from me.

Why is it that those clients who pay pittance ALWAYS have the maximum number of problems with the design? It’s as if they are suffering from some sort of inferiority complex and just have to show who the boss is – in the end it’s the designer who suffers – too much nonsense for too little money.

Filed under: from HELL

Clients From Hell : Yeah

Bitching about clients. The bad ones. And boy are there many. The good ones are meant for the real, company-linked design blog. The bad ones go down in history here - I wish I could tell them to their face where they're screwing up but then I'll just be a poor designer instead of the decently rich one I am now. Compromises.

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